2020 Democratic Party Candidates as Famous Rappers
There are currently 25 Democrats in the running to win their party’s nomination. Just a few day ago, Representative Eric Swalwell dropped out of the race, but billionaire hedge fund manager Tom Steyer decided to join for whatever reason. In order to simplify who is who for all you potential voters, I’ve put together this list comparing each candidate to their famous rapper counterparts. Let’s go!
Amy Klobuchar as Young B
Remember Young B and her 2006 viral song “Chicken Noodle Soup?” Vaguely, right? Well that’s basically what’s going to happen to Amy Klobuchar
Andrew Yang as Chamillionaire
Just a couple of dudes that made BANK investing in tech startups
Bernie Sanders as J. Cole
Legitimately very good but overhyped to a god-like status by an insanely annoying fanbase
Beto O’Rourke as Drake
Charismatic but like, in an annoying way. Arguably appropriates cultures for their own benefit. Has great hits, but is also known to suffer from a lack of substance in a lot of their efforts
Bill de Blasio as Logic
Does this one make sense? No. And neither does deciding to run for president in a crowded field when your mayoral approval rating is 42%
— oop!
Cory Booker as Paul Wall
“The People’s Champ” and something like a baller. These guys are goofy-looking and wear over-sized clothes, but that’s also why we like them
Elizabeth Warren as Pusha T
A real one. Knows EXACTLY what they’re talking about — a former Harvard Law Professor and a dope dealer, respectively. Comes to a battle completely prepared and excited to body their opponents with extensive research and hard facts
Eric Swalwell as XXXTentacion
Gone too soon, but we’re also not too SAD! about it
(Yes, I made a dumb pun. Leave me alone.)
Jay Inslee, John Delaney, & John Hickenlooper as The Beastie Boys
I could go further and explain which one is MCA, Ad-Rock, and Mike D, but I know you don’t actually care about any of these dudes. I grouped them together because they’re uninteresting and share the same first initial. So there, I got lazy. It’s not like you would’ve noticed if I didn’t include them.
Joe Biden as Taylor Swift
Doesn’t even belong here but insists on inserting themselves into EVERYTHING. Secretly a Republican, and definitely voted for the Iraq War
Joe Sestak as Vanilla Ice
Mediocre white guy
Julián Castro as Dylan
Severely underrated and will likely be forgotten. Should really be in everyone’s Top 5 (all 5 of them, of course)
Kamala Harris as Rick Ross
Solid choice, but they would probably prefer you didn’t look up their history with law enforcement
Tulsi Gabbard & Kirsten Gillibrand as Off-Beat Rapping White Girls
Oh God PLEASE tell me you’ve seen that video! If not, here’s the link. It’s so good! Like what are they doing?! lmao Anyways, that’s who these two are.
Steve Bullock as Macklemore
“Progressive” mediocre white guy
Marianne Williamson as Lauryn Hill
Someone we can’t help but love and be confused by because of their spiritual nature. Both probably spend a lot of time aligning their energies, or whatever
Michael Bennet as Mike Jones
People immediately respond “WHO?” when you say their name
Pete Buttigieg as PaRappa The Rapper
A master with language and a gay icon
Seth Moulton as Lil Pump
Went to Harvard
Mike Gravel as Playboi Carti
Revolutionary chaotic good. Doesn’t care about winning. They’re just here to vibe and push peers in an even more progressive direction
Tim Ryan as G-Eazy
Mediocre white guy #3
Tom Steyer as DJ Khaled
Right off the bat, Tom Steyer isn’t a politician, and DJ Khaled isn’t a rapper. As Khaled will relentlessly tell everyone — “They don’t want me to be successful, so I became successful.” Similarly, we didn’t want Tom Steyer to run for president. So what did he do? I think you know the answer