2020 Democratic Party Candidates as Famous Rappers

There are currently 25 Democrats in the running to win their party’s nomination. Just a few day ago, Representative Eric Swalwell dropped out of the race, but billionaire hedge fund manager Tom Steyer decided to join for whatever reason. In order to simplify who is who for all you potential voters, I’ve put together this list comparing each candidate to their famous rapper counterparts. Let’s go!

Amy Klobuchar as Young B

Remember Young B and her 2006 viral song “Chicken Noodle Soup?” Vaguely, right? Well that’s basically what’s going to happen to Amy Klobuchar

Andrew Yang as Chamillionaire

Just a couple of dudes that made BANK investing in tech startups

Bernie Sanders as J. Cole

Legitimately very good but overhyped to a god-like status by an insanely annoying fanbase

Beto O’Rourke as Drake

Charismatic but like, in an annoying way. Arguably appropriates cultures for their own benefit. Has great hits, but is also known to suffer from a lack of substance in a lot of their efforts

Bill de Blasio as Logic

Does this one make sense? No. And neither does deciding to run for president in a crowded field when your mayoral approval rating is 42%

— oop!

Cory Booker as Paul Wall

“The People’s Champ” and something like a baller. These guys are goofy-looking and wear over-sized clothes, but that’s also why we like them

Elizabeth Warren as Pusha T

A real one. Knows EXACTLY what they’re talking about — a former Harvard Law Professor and a dope dealer, respectively. Comes to a battle completely prepared and excited to body their opponents with extensive research and hard facts

Eric Swalwell as XXXTentacion

Gone too soon, but we’re also not too SAD! about it

(Yes, I made a dumb pun. Leave me alone.)

Jay Inslee, John Delaney, & John Hickenlooper as The Beastie Boys

I could go further and explain which one is MCA, Ad-Rock, and Mike D, but I know you don’t actually care about any of these dudes. I grouped them together because they’re uninteresting and share the same first initial. So there, I got lazy. It’s not like you would’ve noticed if I didn’t include them.

Joe Biden as Taylor Swift

Doesn’t even belong here but insists on inserting themselves into EVERYTHING. Secretly a Republican, and definitely voted for the Iraq War

Joe Sestak as Vanilla Ice

Mediocre white guy

Julián Castro as Dylan

Severely underrated and will likely be forgotten. Should really be in everyone’s Top 5 (all 5 of them, of course)

Kamala Harris as Rick Ross

Solid choice, but they would probably prefer you didn’t look up their history with law enforcement

Tulsi Gabbard & Kirsten Gillibrand as Off-Beat Rapping White Girls

Oh God PLEASE tell me you’ve seen that video! If not, here’s the link. It’s so good! Like what are they doing?! lmao Anyways, that’s who these two are.

Steve Bullock as Macklemore

“Progressive” mediocre white guy

Marianne Williamson as Lauryn Hill

Someone we can’t help but love and be confused by because of their spiritual nature. Both probably spend a lot of time aligning their energies, or whatever

Michael Bennet as Mike Jones

People immediately respond “WHO?” when you say their name

Pete Buttigieg as PaRappa The Rapper

A master with language and a gay icon

Seth Moulton as Lil Pump

Went to Harvard

Mike Gravel as Playboi Carti

Revolutionary chaotic good. Doesn’t care about winning. They’re just here to vibe and push peers in an even more progressive direction

Tim Ryan as G-Eazy

Mediocre white guy #3

Tom Steyer as DJ Khaled

Right off the bat, Tom Steyer isn’t a politician, and DJ Khaled isn’t a rapper. As Khaled will relentlessly tell everyone — “They don’t want me to be successful, so I became successful.” Similarly, we didn’t want Tom Steyer to run for president. So what did he do? I think you know the answer